i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
