ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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