9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
