Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
