i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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