dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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