Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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