I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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