Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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