I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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