I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
