I'm lost and stupid without you.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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