where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
