You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
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No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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