idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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