we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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