dude i'm inner monologue high
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
