Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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