i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
