oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
pray to the hookup gods
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
