i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
