So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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