Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
