He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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