remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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