At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
