The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
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