on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
