I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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