So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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