You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize