i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
