she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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