I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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