I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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