Plan B is the new Plan A
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
