im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
