Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
