i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
