if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
