My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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