I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
