i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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