I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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