maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize