shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I made him laugh his dick is mine
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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