it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
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I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
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After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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