There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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