Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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