Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Randomize
