I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
