Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
