six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
