it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize