saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
