Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just saw a hot homeless man
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
