I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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