dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
