If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
