it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
