fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I look better un-naked...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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