hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
